October

Let’s start with conference: The main thing: think kinder.   We can all find something in common with each other.  We don’t just have to fight, be kind.  Our words this time were: Jesus Christ, Missionary, Heavenly Father, Redeemer, Joseph Smith, God, Holey Ghost, Temple, Lord. They each got enough words for their presents  then made a massive fort. Azalyn did not want any candy.  She said she was being healthy.   The boys each had a very specific candy they wanted.  I had to order it from Amazon, and each had to wait a few days for it (Colvin had to wait over a week).  

Here are my words on the next part of the month: I am writing this for my own thoughts.   Yesterday I lost a baby, had a miscarriage.  I did not know that I was pregnant till Sunday, and I lost it Thursday.  I knew on Sunday that there was something wrong, I just did not feel the same as with the other kids.  However, after 5 days I was getting excited and still scared.  However, I started gushing blood and then just leaked blood all day (Thursday).  When I went to the doctor that same day, I sounded like a person that knew nothing, but I was trying to hold it together.   Waiting to get a blood test was a blessing because it gave me no time on my own.  However, the moment I got into the car I lost it.  I really wanted to talk to someone, but I could not have talked if I wanted to.   I know I felt people in the car hugging me.  Picked up Greg (He was just getting home from his work trip) and tried to talk a little but with kids in the car (Azalyn) I wanted to be the strong mom.  The traffic was bad so again no time to really think had to go right to pick up the boys.  Again, blessing the lord knew I needed to stay busy.  Home and normal crazy night.  I did go upstairs and in Gregs arms felt so much pain hurt and love.  I don’t want to hate my body, but I feel I let myself and Greg down. 

I had a dream last night that I was in the doctor’s office, and they were telling me I lost the baby.  However, there was a daughter of mine in the room with me.  I don’t know what she said but I know she knew I loved her.   Life does go on and I did hold my 3 wonderful kids a little longer tonight.   I am so blessed with my family.   I talked to Sierra for about 45 min tonight she understands.  

I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know if I will have another baby, but I know that the lord has a plan.  No matter what happens he understands and loves me more than I can understand or love me.  If I have kids in the spirit world, I hope they know how much I love them.   I hope they understand that we will be a family forever no matter what.   I have to understand there is a grand plan.  

I have to see the small and big miracles that happen every day. 

Mom and dad were on a cruse most of the month.  When she called to say they were back in the states (they stayed in Florida for a week) I cannot describe how wonderful it was to just talk to her.  She knew everything and just wanted an update.  I could not talk long because we were out to dinner but the joy her voice brought me was overwhelming.  

Some Highlights: Azalyn learned how to start herself on her bike.  Just because she can, does not mean she will or likes to.  We just need to go on a big ride.  Talking about funny Azalyn, one morning she could not walk her leg hurt too much (drama all morning) I find said that is too bad because if your leg hurts you cannot go to school.   She scooted to the door, she said the fresh air would help her leg, miracle 30 sec later she walked back in with a healed leg and ready to go to school.  

Greg went on his yearly work trip to Pennsylvania.  Our tradition when dad is gone to go to KFC (I really don’t care for them) but TRADITION!

Colvin had a LATE soccer game.  Of course, it was the week Greg was gone and we had snacks.   It was kind of fun to be under the lights and it was way cooler, but it made for a very crazy week.  

I love all the park parties our town has.  This year I am not even sure what we were celebrating.   There were bounce houses and tons of free booths.  The highlight for the kids was mechanical bull riding.   The boys each did it twice.   A big shout out to Denali, he finally got to do the tramp thing he wanted to do on the 4^th of July.  

For fall brake we took it easy.   One Tana and family came down the week after our fall brake. Two my body and mind was not feeling up to it (it was the 2^nd week of dealing IT).  We did go to Up Town Alley; they have the best Tuesday special because my kids don’t like to bowl, it is even better.

Let’s talk about Halloween.  Greg had this great idea that we were all going to dress up as bad guys from DC: Joker, Harley Quin, Cat women, etc.…  I took the kids to Other Mother to pick our outfits.  First Colvin found a Steve outfit (Minecraft) that he fell in love with.  Denali decided he just wanted to be his own thing.  Azalyn really wanted to be Tinker bell, but all the Tinker Bell dresses were too sparkly (to much tool).  

Something kind of sad:  on the way to Idaho Greg had me delete all his Gmail emails to free up space.  However, we did not know that his Gmail and Hotmail were connected so anything and everything I deleted from one deleted from the other.  He lost a few very important emails.  We looked and looked but nothing.   Sorry Greg!

We had a partial soler eclipse.  I had to run the night before to get sunglasses.  Denali watched the eclipse all morning and afternoon.  I got to go on a lunch date with Denali.  I took him to an appointment then out to a fast lunch.  I love spending one on one time with my kids.  

With everything that when on at the beginning of the month there was more.   One Sunday Marshmallow got really sick.  Like when I picked him up, I was not 100% sure he was not already gone.   At the Vet they ran some tests and gave him an IV.  All the tests came back negative (they ran an X-ray, and concluded there was a blockage in his stomach, but could not tell what it was) They asked us if we just wanted to put him down, they were not even sure he was going to make it.  I told them NO I wanted to let the kids say goodbye.  We took him home, let the kids cry and take pictures and put everyone to bed.  I told the kids I would wake them up if anything happened in the middle of the night.  He lived through the night.  About every hour I syringe food and water down him.   He is still alive that night.  I do that for the next 2 days, every day he is a little better.  One day he will move his head.  The next he drank water on his own.  Then he had a massive poop, I think it pushed out the blockage. He is really skinny we will take skinny.  He has energy but no endurance.  We will just take him any way we can, alive.  

Tana, Cory and Sammy came down for their fall brake.  We usually go to Vegas but… we are hoping to go for spring break.   We played a new game, Voyage, it can be played with as many people as you want but it is fast.  We played a round of danger noodle for 45 min.  I did run them to the White Tanks library so they could “see” Arizona.  They wanted to go to a zoo. We took them to the Wild Animal Zoo.  It was fun and I love how close you get to the animals.   We did an outside movie.   We had a great time.  We laughed a lot!  I am so glad they came down.  Azalyn slept 12 hours the last night they were here, she ran herself to the ground.  

Ok bad mom moment: the kids had primary program practice. On the invite they had asked the kids to come in church clothing.  I did not read the whole invite and missed that part of the invite, so my kids came in Soccer uniform and park clothing.  The presidency was so kind.   The program was really cute, Denali was the only one of my kids with a talking part.  He did it very loudly.   Brain fart mom: for school the letter was “U”- could not think of anything till we got to school, and I saw her unicorn plates, and shoes.  She had a U word, on her only her favorite thing in the world. 

I was able to go to a girl’s night.  It is so rejuvenating just to be with other women and laugh.  We played a game that would be really fun with my family. You put words in a bowl then you act them out 3 times.  Words and act round 1 only act round 2 then 3 words only round 3.   I cut my hair, that is how I deal with stress.   I did the hair cut I have been trying to do for years now.  The half shave and I love it, the lady did a fabulous job.

Colvin took me to a mother-sons dance.  We could dress up like superheroes.  He decided we should go as Gwen and spider man.   We were a little late because we got dinner.   We had a great time; he did the cake dance and was so into it.   He showed me how he can jump over traffic cones.  Then he bought me a rose.  I also made him open my doors for me.  He really does not like to show his sweet soft side.  He will still snuggle me at night but hates kisses.  I still them when he is asleep. 

HALLOWEEN: it started with the ward trick or treat.  Greg was joker, I was cat women, Denali was something scary (see above he had his own idea) Colvin was Steve, Azalyn was Harley Quinn (she was not happy as we were getting her dressed, but the candy helped) this year’s trunk or treat was not as big but still they had games and the kids had tons of fun.  Note for school, Az was the only one that got to dress up.  She went as a Minny Mouse fairy.  It was how she got her Tinker Bell fix. The boys did get "Spirt week"  one day they dressed up as their favorite movie character, Denali was Toulouse from Aristocasts.  Colvin was Owen from Jurassic Park  For Halloween night we went with friends again.  It really is fun to go with a big group.  We came to our side of the neighborhood.  There were not a ton of houses handing out candy, but each house that was giving out candy, gave a ton of candy. Azalyn was done when she could not carry her bag anymore.  Most of our neighbors are so sweet.  One neighbor knew they were going to be out of town, so they brought each kid a bag of candy.  Another neighbor knew my kids’ liked skittles, so she picked out all the skittles and gave my kids a bowl of skittles.  Still another neighbor gave them each a box of candy, she said we missed you on Halloween, she wanted us to know that they love having my kids around.  What a great way to end the Month.

On to the Holidays!